since I can remember, there was a small voice inside of me that whispered “more”  I would find something i liked and that voice would whisper “more, more, more,”  Just a little more and a little more after that.  And sometimes the voice would get louder.  More More more.  Just one more.  Just 10  more.  One more and then you’ll stop.  One more so you can sleep.  Three more.  Its best in threes.  more more more.  eventually it was the only thing I could hear.  sometimes it screamed from the very cells in my body.  We need more Goddammit!!  more more more more more!!!!  my biology would demand more and more.  that insane urge…

but its quieter now.  I go days without hearing it at all.  and when I do, its softer now.  like a little child.. “more?”, it asks.    And I say, “not today”. and it says “ok”.